The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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