what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize