I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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