the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
