I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
