please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
