I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she looked like the before picture.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
