You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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