I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
