I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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