I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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