question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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