So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
