dude i'm inner monologue high
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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