He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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