After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
