you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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