Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm really busy with my period
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