If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i now understand why vodka
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
