the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
