if you like me you must not know who I am
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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