so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
