i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
