I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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