Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
