i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
