he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
