some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize