I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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