i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
