Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
