you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
