OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
