:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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