sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
