If i come over, it means nothing
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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