you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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