I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
