4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
