Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
