singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My pussy is not your playground.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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