and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
