so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize