So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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