Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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