And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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