You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
