after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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