Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
