ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fuck appropriateness.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
