Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
