In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
