dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
