Screwed.edu
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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