your room smells of hookers.
And success
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
