Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
