I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
